Ask Arcelita: Boy… and Friends Advice

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Arcelita Martin, Staff Writer

Boyfriends. They hold an elite title to us teenage girls – a misguided one. Wrapped up in feelings of love, it is often hard to remember they are simply high school students as well. When in an argument with your significant other, keep it in perspective. He or she is a fallible human too. These tips can apply to all of your relationships, when you want to try to make amends and continue forward happily.

Why do you like each other?

To focus on the good, you have to take it back to the very beginning. There is an initial reason as to why you began to like the person and vice versa. Don’t forget that. Whether it be their enchantment with your kindness, or your fascination with their witty humor, there was a start to the admiration. Do not let the light you found in them be clouded by the current darkness in your relationship.

Make a date.

By making an effort to do an activity you know the other enjoys, you are showing you care about the other person. It could be as simple as asking if they want to go to the baseball game, or going out for ice cream. The fact that you are acknowledging their interests will mean the world to them. Another way to amend a currently ‘rocky’ relationship is to simply be together in a positive setting.

Be open to conversation.

Eventually, you will need to talk it out. Proper communication is important for moving forward in a relationship without doubts or insecurities. It is easy to avoid the issues at hand, to go on with resentment in the backs of your heads, but it is not the strong thing to do and it will inevitably lead to future issues. In order to continue the relationship, the band-aids must be taken off to expose the real wound, allowing it to heal.

Listen.

When the other person tells you how they feel, do not get defensive or argue that your actions were justified. Listen. Hear what the other person is saying, and genuinely think about whether you are at fault. If so, change. It may be as simple as supporting them more in their endeavors, attending their performances or sporting events. If they need more love, I promise it is not hard to give.

However, if they are asking you to change who you are entirely, then you need to change friends. A true friend/partner would never want you to change anything about yourself. They should be proud of who you are, and what you represent. So listen closely for expressions of love, support, or kindness. Notice if they suggest an alteration of your dispositions, of you.

I wish you the best of luck with your relationship. I hope with the tips listed above, you are able to find the light you found in each other.

Always and Absolutely,

Arcelita