It’s almost two weeks into every Catholic’s favorite time of year, and by now, you’ve probably found yourself facedown in a box of chocolates or whiling your life away on Facebook, contemplating your willpower due to your failed Lenten promises. Here is El Cid’s guide to what Cathedral students should have given up for Lent.

1. Swiping right on your iPad as a teacher walks by

2. Feigning headaches to get tea from the nurse’s office

3. Fabricating college names to wear your public school sweatshirts (VANS = Virginia National School)

4. Using the hot water machine to make ramen noodles for lunch

5. Wearing leather riding boots as rain boots on cloudy days

6. Starbucks

7. Watching Netflix with sound off and subtitles on in class

8. Googling your textbooks followed by “free pdf”

9. Propping your phone inside of your mounted iPad case

10. Sending friendly messages to the online CalcChat tutor

11. Complaining about the dress code

12. “Reading” books on SparkNotes to prep for your Socratic Seminar

13. Making collages of bobcats, rollerbladers, and burnt toast and posting them on social media

14. Looking up answers to your homework online but still putting in wrong answers to make it look like you actually did it

15. Bringing boxes of VG’s donuts to school to make friends

16. Becoming seagull target practice on your way to class

17. Spending $9 on chicken tenders, fries, and Jamba Juice for lunch

18. Complaining about how expensive Sodexo food is

19. “Borrowing” money from seven different people to pay for your lunch

20. Getting sent to the cool-down room at dances

21. Looking up pictures of food on Pinterest when you forgot your lunch

22. Using CCTV as extra time to finish your homework

23. Basing your self-worth on the number of colleges that email you

24. Blaming everything that goes wrong on Obama

25. Giving up.

Cassandra Fernandes and Diana Maldonado also contributed to this piece.