I’m having a really hard time at school; there is an awful group of girls that won’t leave me or my friend alone. I try to keep them out of my life and ignore their drama, but I just don’t know what to do. I think bullying is a bigger problem at this school than most people realize, and I wanted your advice on how to stay away and keep your head high, because it is really hard.  

Dearest Reader,

According to bullyingstatistics.org, one in four kids in the United States are bullied regularly. That makes you and your friend apart of the 25 percent of kids who are not treated the way we, as people, should treat one another: lovingly and respectfully. As that goes, not only should you treat others that way, but yourself.

If this group of girls who you continue to hang out with make you feel awful, you are not loving or respecting yourself either. Please make the choice to surround yourself with people who make you feel loved.

Oftentimes, we view love as a number, a quantitative value: “how many people love me?” However, I assure you that love is a qualitative value; those who love you will respect you and never try to harm you. There is no shame at all in walking beside one person who makes you feel happy, instead of a group of girls who make you feel horrid inside.

Although when I was younger I loved the movie “The Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen,” starring Lindsay Lohan, I have recently discovered the lack of appeal for teenage drama queens.

Now, specifically at Cathedral Catholic High School, there are so many wonderfully kind people to befriend. Whether that person s a counselor, teacher or classmate, realize that although you may have struck a wrong chord with one group of people, not all people on campus are like that.

If you do not feel comfortable befriending a teacher, know that any campus minister, including myself, would love to make you feel more at home.

My advice is to remind yourself that you make the choice of who you surround yourself with, so choose a positive environment! Every year I have been here at CCHS, I have met new people who radiate goodness. I am sure you will find people who will shine some light into your life. You would be surprised how a good group of friends can make life that much more wonderful.

Lastly, you mentioned that CCHS has a bigger bullying problem than we are aware of. One way to stop bullying is by intervening and defending the victim. We often do nothing and become bystanders. However, by becoming aware of the causes of bystander nonintervention, you may altruistically help someone.

Pluralistic ignorance refers to the misperception an individual has while in a group: that no one else perceives events as he or she does. While in a group, an individual assumes that if no one else sees the situation as an problem, it must not be. Wrong. As high school students, we all have felt cornered or perhaps attacked. We have all been in a situation in which a helping hand would have been greatly appreciated.

Diffusion of responsibility is the concept that the presence of others makes one feel less responsible for the outcome of an event such as bullying. Never stop yourself from lending a helping hand simply because you are surrounded by others. We all want good in the world, and the easiest way to find it is to become it yourself.

Always and absolutely,

Arcelita