No college…no knowledge

The image depicts a university founded in 1636, the year the first American university was established, and includes the Latin translation of “College is the only way.”

Image created by Cole Hume

The image depicts a university founded in 1636, the year the first American university was established, and includes the Latin translation of “College is the only way.”

Cole Hume, Editor-in-Chief

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A group of Cathedral Catholic High School students will bypass the brilliant admissions process and instead either attend community college for four years or no college at all, and they have justifiably been criticized and mocked by peers.

This segment of regressive thinkers, who actually believe college is either too expensive or not for them, do not recognize the motivating nature of student loans, the maturing which takes place on college campuses, and the advantages of general mandated courses.

College is expensive because learning should always come at a cost. Some teens are not practical enough to understand the magnificence of student loans. 

After graduating with the intent of finding a livelihood, one must shoulder the weight of knowledge. Loans that acquire interest as one continues to benefit off their education is that necessary weight. This system is incredibly poetic. Additionally, students do not account for the push which student loans provide. After one receives their education, one may be tempted to slow down and ease into the workforce, but with student loans, easing is not an option. 

In fact, many people work for decades to pay off their loans. Clearly, the loans are supplying necessary motivation. In this way, colleges are mandating your success, proving loans as a catalyst to success. 

Unlike virtually all debts, declaring bankruptcy is not an option when it comes to student loans. Community college applicants believe they can learn for a cheap and fair price, but those students do not account for the lack of motivation they will have during the semester, knowing they only paid as low as $200 per course.

However, community college graduates and people entering the workforce directly out of high school miss the maturation processes occurring at universities. From perfect social groups in the form of fraternities and sororities where students learn the importance of community and oftentimes service to learning how to cope with homesickness when miles away from family, universities provide unique ways to mature.

Many students learn about self-care as they learn to handle their alcohol and use protection, oftentimes after their mishaps. Through common hazing incidents, rampant sexual misconduct, and STD outbreaks, college campuses allow kids to brilliantly learn from mistakes. 

People who choose to bypass college entirely miss out on the general courses colleges mandate for a bachelor’s degree. Those prideful diploma holders probably believe 12 years of educational foundation is enough, as they devalue year 13 and 14. 

Universities don’t stupidly pay attention to efficiency as many universities require kids to learn languages or maths their careers will not need. Learning is all that matters.

Additionally, taking courses involving none of one’s passions is an awesome test of one’s willpower. Those who simply work on what they are passionate about are just too idealistic.

Sure, students may have taken 12 years of foundational courses before university, but year 13 and 14 will truly pay dividends. Even those Advanced Placement courses taken in high school where one did not achieve a five on the AP exam should be retaken because in those 100 student lecture hall classes at universities, one may finally understand the material.

The population of kids opting for community college or no college at all do not understand the wisdom: spend money to make money. Sure, the education is very similar at community college and those entering careers uncorrelated with university majors may not directly benefit from big universities, but they must respect the wisdom. 

Those two sectors of kids also will not mature gracefully like their university-attending counterparts, and they will not gain the advantage of learning that material they learned for 12 years one more time like their determined, pragmatic, respectable, wise, aspirational, intellectually-curious, industrious, and exceptional university-attending peers.

This article is strictly satire and expresses the viewpoint of its writer Cole Hume. The purpose of the story is to convey the absurdity of considering college as the only possible route to success. Too often kids are shunned for coming to the pragmatic conclusion that college is not specifically for them.